A Birth Story; Welcome, Little Son!

Oh my goodness! Such adorable cuteness! I could sit here and look at his little face all day long. And smooch him and, oh, my heart! It's amazing how God has created this love, this bonding. Our whole entire family has fallen smack dab head-over-heels in love at first sight.

He is finally here, on the outside. Our long awaited little baby. I can hardly believe the pregnancy is over and he's really here! The long wait, all the uncomfortableness, the worry is over. And here he is; safe and sound.

Long ago in the early fall, I was driving home one night praying about the birth of our baby. We wanted so much to have our baby born at home but because of the laws here in South Dakota, there aren't many practicing midwives. Two, in the whole state, to be exact. I was already seeing an OB doctor, but she knew from the first visit that we hoped to find a midwife who would deliver our baby at our house. Anyway, there I was worrying and praying. Wondering if we would dare to give birth on our own or just with a friend. Wondering if homebirth was that important to us. 

I feel that God gave me a glimpse of what was to be, because right in the middle of my prayers, I saw in my minds eye a few moments of time, where I had just delivered a baby and Blue eyes was putting him into my arms and saying, "Honey, it's a boy!". There were other women there but I couldn't tell who they were. We were in our bedroom and all the feelings were so intense and real. It was so comforting to me and I told Blue eyes and the kids about it when I got home. From then on I believed that one way or another, our baby would be born safely at home.

And what do you know? About a month later, I met a wonderful woman who spends her time lobbying for the rights of midwives and families in our state who desire more and better birth options. She told me about a Certified Nurse Midwife who lives about an hour and a half away from us, and assists a few homebirths here and there on the side. I was so excited and called her right away.

She works as a hospital emergency room nurse as well. And has a two week on, two week off schedule, so obviously has a conflict of interest. The best she can do is schedule her two weeks off around when you think you might have your baby and hope for the best. We decided to plan on using her but to continue seeing the ob, just in case.

Finally her two weeks off arrived, the week before and the week after my due date. Our last four babies have been born right on or a few days after their due dates so I was just expecting to go over due. I was nesting like crazy, though, and finishing up the last projects on my list. I had everything ready in our bedroom, gave it one more good cleaning and scrubbed the entire upstairs bathroom to within an inch of its life. The midwife came for her home visit and we agreed we'd probably see each other in a week or so. She told me she had been and would be praying for us and she felt sure everything would go well. I brought the kids to piano lessons and went to the library. After supper that night I took a really long hot bath while reading Willa Cather's Sapphina and the Slave Girl. (Not my favorite of hers, but an insightful look at human relationships. And good, of course, it's Willa Cather, after all.)

I was completely taken by surprise when I woke up at 3:00 in the morning and my water had broken. It's never broken at the onset of labor before. With our hospital births they would brake it as the labor progressed and with each of our homebirths the water broke as the baby was being delivered. So we had a few minutes of panic wondering if the baby was actually going to be born right then. Lucille was born literally a half an hour after we woke up from a sound sleep, so we were expecting anything.

Within a few minutes the midwife was on her way, Blue eyes was making coffee, and I was down stairs straightening up. Such an adrenaline rush! It was so different because I was not having any contractions at all. When the midwife got here a little over an hour later, I still hadn't had any contractions. She told me to just keep doing what I was doing and she got an emergency station set up on the dining room table. 

Within fifteen minutes the contractions had started, good and strong, all in my back. Just like with Lucy. That did not bring back good memories and I started to feel afraid. But good old Blue eyes prayed for me and pretty soon started to tell me that if I wanted to give birth upstairs, we should probably go up there.

So we moved up to our bedroom and woke up the big girls. I had labored and delivered Lucille kneeling down and that seemed like the right position this time too. The girls came in excited and happy to witness the miracle of birth, but quiet and reverent too.

For some reason I was afraid this labor would stretch on for hours and I was worried that I wasn't as in control as I should be. I told Annika that she should feel free to go out if she changed her mind about being in there. But the midwife and Blue eyes told her the baby was going to be born really soon, that gave me hope.

So intense, birth is. How could I describe it but like a crescendo of being a woman? Like everything that makes me human meets there, all the frailty and strength of my soul. All my fear but all the faith of my heart. All the raw naked love in my spirit, allowing me to bury my head in Blue eyes' arms and believe him when he tells me my baby is almost here, that I'm doing good, that Jesus is with me. Drawing strength from his muscled arms, finding peace in his faith, so that my spirit and his voice pray together. And God hears and I surrender, I let my body open up, I muster all my strength from somewhere deep inside me, because I can and I must, and I push my baby out. 

It is a little before 6:00, and Blue eyes is crying and saying it is a boy. And we're all laughing and crying and he is crying his little newborn cry. The sound we love because it means he is healthy and that God has graciously granted the breath of life and we have a new little son.

And his face is so darn cute! We can't get over it. Meredith wakes up because she heard a baby cry and people laughing and she just knows....it must have happened, our baby is born. She just told me today that if there was no such thing as kissing, she would have invented it now that Abe is born;). 

As promised, Blue eyes brought the baby into meet his big brothers and let them hold him before all the girls got a hold of him. He also asked them what they thought about Abraham for a name. We all think that sounds nice, Abraham David. We'll call him Abe for now, since Abraham seems like such a big name for so little a fellow. David is for my kind, gentle uncle, my mom's only living brother.

"As for me, this is my covenant with them, saith the Lord; My spirit that is upon thee, and my words which I have put in thy mouth, shall not depart out of thy mouth, nor out of the mouth of thy seed, nor out of the mouth of thy seed's seed, saith the Lord, from henceforth and forever." Isaiah 59:21

".......that they might be called trees of righteousness, the plantings of the Lord, that he might be glorified. And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.......and I will make an everlasting covenant with them. And their seed shall be known among the gentiles, and their offspring among the people: all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the Lord has blessed." Isaiah 61

What a gift that we through faith can trust that little Abraham is a planting of the Lord and will grow to be a tree of righteousness! Praise the Lord for His bountiful goodness!

Growing Up Under the Cottonwood Trees: Moses' True Account of Catching a Criminal

Growing Up Under the Cottonwood Trees: Moses' True Account of Catching a Criminal: Since some of you were wondering about the 21st Random Fact About Our Family, Moses orally narrated the story to me so I could write it down...

Sweet Dreamers and Happy Hopes

Yesterday, I spent half my afternoon studying dog sled racing with my son. Watching footage, listening to interviews with mushers, looking at maps. dreaming about taking a winter vacation to Duluth, to see the Bear Grease race take off someday. I would love to do that with him. Truly. He's mildly obsessed. It's true, his sister has said to me more than once, "Mom, when I'm just sitting there doing nothing, do I have this look about me that says I was just wondering about every known fact concerning Alaskan Huskies and the Iditarod?"  

Sometimes, all the busyness and responsibilities of being a mom fade away, and I am able to catch a glimpse of how lucky I really am to be a mom of many children. How through the fresh, innocent eyes of my kids I see life differently. I see how the here and now, this place, life's current circumstances, could never hold back the excited hope and sweet dreams of youth. 

Three of my kids are over five feet tall now! Our oldest is going on a road trip half way across the country without us! But, this time of parenting is sweet, too. It feels like in many ways, the harvest is beginning to ripen, like what we began to sow years ago is bringing forth fruit. And my heart rejoices, not only rejoices but is also rejuvenated, to keep going. There are lots of days when finally at about four o'clock, I sink into a chair with a cup of coffee, put my feet up for a few minutes before it's time to start dinner, and I think, this is exhausting! And I worry that I'm not doing enough and I wonder, is this really worth it?  Will their wings be strong enough when it comes time to fly? Will I be able to smile (through the tears) and say, "Go! Go, little fledging, soar! Be all that you can be in the life that God has given to you!"  I pray that God will give Blue eyes and me wisdom, that we would never cripple or weaken their wings, or try to hold them back for selfish reasons. It makes my heart ache with a desire to be even kinder, more gentle, cherish even more the early years that I still have with my little girls.

A while ago, my son was washing the dishes with me and telling me all about a book he was reading, about Alaska, of course. The gold rush this time though, so something new;). He was telling me about a conversation between two of the characters, and he says, "You know why he said that, mom? Do you know what he was referring to?" I didn't. So he tells me it was in reference to a Greek myth. He summarizes the Greek myth so I understand. Ah, so how does he know all that? I ask. From a book of Greek myths that he's read several times over the years. 

Now, that may seem like an insignificant conversation to you, but to me, a homeschooling mom, who is so often full of doubts and worry over my abilities, my heart leaped with joy! Before this boy was school age, I became interested in Charlotte Mason's ideas about education. I think of it as an "organic, whole child education". It is gentle and easy, it engages not only the intellect, but the heart and soul. It is why I have a quote up in my school room that says, "I have learned that the head does not hear anything until the heart has listened, and what the heart knows today the head will understand tomorrow." (James Stephen). I have learned the truth of this quote, and I love it! It's my philosophy of education in a nut shell. But the thing is, you go forward in hope. You trust that the head will understand on some fair tomorrow. 

You trust that, even though you cannot see it now, someday all those pieces will come together, forming a well educated mind. Charlotte Mason has written, "There is no true education but self education." 

When I told Blue eyes about this literary connection our eleven year old son had made, he right away gave credit to another Charlotte Mason idea that I adopted several years ago. That is, limiting what she refers to as "twaddle" or brain candy, meaning books that are not well written and are not intellectually or spiritually stimulating. But rather, exposing your child to well written "whole books". When that is what they are fed, that is what their minds desire. In this way, you are actually making your child a student of some of the brightest minds in history. I must say that when we visit the public library, I see lots of twaddle. But there are many literary gems, as well, through which my children have learned about history and humanity and the vast world around them. 

And so, as as I sat around the table yesterday, drinking tea and chatting with my older half, enjoying our relaxed winter break, refreshing my soul and spirit, I thought about how I can see things coming full circle now. My girls are the sweet dreamers, making lists of the hopes they have for their some day husbands. When they were younger, they used to tell me they wanted to marry someone just like their daddy. Now their ideas are a little more original, but when they share them with me, I still see Blue eyes in the frame work. They both want to marry someone with blue eyes, who sings nice and loves babies. Oh, and they don't want to marry anyone with soft hands. They like men with hard working hands.

Since this came up in the conversation, I asked the boys if they had any hopes for their future wives. They both said first of all she has to be a Christian, but secondly she must be tough. Moses said she needs to be able to butcher a hen by herself so she can cook chicken for supper, and she has to be able to stitch up her own kids, in case they get cut and he's not home. But she can't be stronger than him. He wants to watch her butcher a chicken, just to make sure, and he'll arm wrestle her to make sure she's not stronger than him. I wonder what he's imagining? Ladies lined up to audition for the wife of the last Alaskan frontiersman?

Isaac said the only person he could imagine marrying, is someone like Marlene Foreman, because she knows how to butcher a chicken, shoot a gun and she still climbs trees. (For those of you who know her, you know she's the perfect mix of feminine gracefulness and tough;). 

Loving being a mom! Where else would I have these good conversations? And whatever God gives them in life, whether it's singleness, or a spouse like they imagined or one that is completely opposite, I hope they cherish and embrace the days they have upon this earth, with kindness and integrity bringing glory to the God that has created them. 

"Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?

Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.

The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

The righteous cry, and the lord heareth, and delivereth them from all their trouble.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivereth him out of them all."

Psalm 34: 11-19

Just Thinking........Homeschool Apostates, Following Men and Free to Be Me!

Oh, summer, wonderful, lovely summer! When else can a busy homeschool mom spend hours outside, dirt in my hands, coaxing beautiful things to grow?  Listening to the sounds of little girls making mud cakes and playing babies, the distant sound of hammers in the woods, where a "coolest of them all" tree fort is being built, big girls lounging in the shade reading and talking, everything around me seems happy and tranquil.All this time to breathe deep, shake off the hurry, hurry of the school year, and just think. Now if only Blue eyes would make us a bed hanging from the trees, I would never go in the house at all!

 Thinking, thinking. A while ago I stumbled across these two blogs. They were both written by young women who were raised in large home-schooled families. The whole point of their blogs are to expose the ills of this "subculture". It was just so weird to read these things from such a complete opposite perspective, but, I thought, hey, there might be something I can learn here. I thought about what they had to say for days actually.

It made me think about how all of us, including me, judge things by our own experiences. We have to! To those young people, that is reality, they lived it. To them, that is what a Christian homeschooling family is, and so, they feel the need to take a public stand and shout about it. But that was only their experience. You can never lump a whole group of people together and say, "this is how they are, they do this, they think like this." But we do it all the time. Turns out there's a lot of "homeschool apostates" out there on the internet, wanting to make their voices heard. And that's fine, but, as I was reading some of the comments on these two blogs I noticed some things. Things that I know to be of a certain spiritual danger in the homeschool world.

For one thing, not all, but some, and I would venture to say many, parents who choose to homeschool,  have suffered some extent of hurt and abuse in their lives, enough so that they know that the world is not a safe place. They know first hand that there are actually evil people in this world and they have a fierce determination and sense of duty to protect their own children. And that's good, we should by Biblical mandate, take it upon ourselves to shepherd, protect and disciple our children.

But, I also know from first hand experience, that there can be a tremendous amount of pressure on a home school family to be perfect. To have it all together, a clean house, homemade organic food, perfectly behaved children, who never have messy faces and always have their hair combed;), who can recite large sections of Scripture and play musical instruments, and have been thoroughly trained to address grown ups as Mrs. and Mr. so and so. There's also the pressure to always look pleasant and composed, especially in public, so you don't make other homeschooling families look bad. Then depending on where you're at and who you're around, there may be the pressure to teach your kids Latin and there is for sure the pressure to keep them at least a notch or two above their peers academically. AHHHH.....help! All that pressure, after a while, is enough to make even the sanest among us feel a little crazy!

Again, I know first hand that when you look at yourself and your family and all the ways you're not cutting it,  it starts to seem like the other families are so much ......better. You start to wonder, what are we doing wrong? And you look for some books, of course, because being a homeschooling mom you love to read, right? So, you find the book and the author is awesome and spiritual and has all the answers, and if you just follow his formula, your family will be perfect too. But, unfortunately, your husband is nothing like him. He just isn't as spiritual, disciplined, etc. etc. and probably that's why it's not working out. So, you get your hubby all the CDs to listen to on his way to and from work so he'll understand what's expected of him......

I don't know, but I noticed that lots of the people that were commenting on the blogs have a lot of anger at certain public figures in the home school movement. And I just worry that there is the temptation to become followers of men rather than God. Maybe some men feel a lot of pressure as well, to lead and disciple their families. Maybe some resort to military like discipline and leadership to try to maintain the level of control they feel they need to have. Especially if they did not have a good father themselves, so they've never seen how it's all lived out in day to day life.

And then, oh sad, sad! What happens when the man your family is following falls spiritually? The damage is unbelievably devastating.  It makes my heart ache for these poor families, who were setting out to do something wonderful and far reaching and ended up with angry, bitter kids.

Fortunately for me, Blue eyes is too independent and skeptical to  have ever been too tempted in this area. Plus, we are blessed to have known real life men of God who quietly lived their lives, leaving an example for others. Whose faithful witness lasted until the end of their lives. Men whose children rise up and bless them. We have been blessed beyond measure to have seen around us generations of godly men. Perhaps they haven't written books but they have humbly tried to do their best to follow the instructions given them in the Bible.

I want that kind of heart! That clings to the Word of God alone! I want to love the simple instruction given to us, to be gentle, kind, and faithful, and most of all to trust HIM to work in us those good things. And,
through faith to patiently wait for the fruit of our labor, with vision and grace! Knowing that we may water and sow but it is God Himself who gives the increase!

Yup, this is what we've been talking about at our house lately. Don't get me wrong, I love parenting books, marriage books, homeschooling books, because I want to glean wisdom from others who've gone this way before me. If I am able, Is want to learn from their mistakes and victories. But just as importantly I want to remember that my family is 100%, completely unique! There has never been a man just like Blue eyes married to a woman just like me, so it goes without saying that there are no other children just like ours! What works for Micheal Pearl's family probably won't work for mine because the daddy at our house is a tenderhearted, gentle, soft spoken guy. If he tried some of the things that worked for Mike, our kids would be brokenhearted, and that's OK because we're free to just be us.

And you are as well, free to be you, so take heart, relax, stop worrying about how you appear before men and set about with me to love and enjoy the unique, one in a million guy you're married to. Let's trust that God has given us just exactly what we need to raise the fruit of our wombs. Just think, the fruition of the love between unique you and your one in a million guy. Pretty special!

With David I Will Strive "To Set No Wicked Thing Before Mine Eyes" (or the eyes of my children)

When I think about our fifteen years on this journey of parenting and the different ideals and convictions we've committed ourselves to,  the one conviction that I am the most thankful for is that we have never had a television set in our home and that we've agreed that we would not waste any of our time using the "screen" for recreation or simply as a past time. That includes gaming, movies, DVDs, sports, Facebook.....for any of us. Here's why.

When I was a young mom with just little Isabelle to care for, I read everything I could get my hands on about parenting. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended then and still does,  that children under the age of two not be exposed to electronic media at all and kids two and over be limited to no more than two hours of screen time daily. Hearing, eye sight and brain function are all adversely effected by having little ones in front of the screen. 

But those are just small things compared with the adverse spiritual consequences. I read that when a child is passively watching a screen only part of his brain is being used, making it very different than reading a book, which engages both sides of the brain. The part of the brain that is inactive is the part that rationalizes and reasons things out. Yikes! That means that everything he is seeing is passively being accepted by his brain and emotions and unless he talks and thinks about it later, and sorts through it as good or bad, there it will remain forever, untouched by reason or moral compass. 

My boys have noticed and told me many times how there is a difference between playmates who watch TV and those who don't. The boys that they know who are exposed to media have certain similarities. My boys are only ten and eight and on their own they have figured this out. Everything that our children's minds, emotions and spirits are exposed to become fibers of what makes them who they are. 

I must tell you that it alarms and grieves my heart when I hear little boys from church going families talking about "zombies who eat people's brains" and vampires and other demonic things. It alarms and grieves my heart when I go into church going families homes and see video game cases laying around with titles like Killing Zone or some other such thing. I don't want to sound judgmental or preachy but shouldn't a Christian home be a hallowed place of God's peace? How then could there be place for anything like that? I am sure that once these wicked and violent things are in a child's mind there is no way to filter them back out.

I have reminded my boys many times that Jesus is "meek and mild" and that God destroyed the old world because it "was filled with violence". Gen. 6:11. We have talked about the Romans and how they became cruel and blood thirsty. We wonder at their brutality that found pleasure in gladiator fights and watching Christian men, women and children being devoured by beasts. But is our culture much different? I don't think so. 

Of course, a TV in itself cannot be a sin but if we take pleasure in watching others break the commandments of God then I believe we are guilty before Him. It boggles my mind to see the culture around us wringing their hands and calling for stricter gun control laws in light of the recent school shootings, wondering what has gone wrong.Calling it a mental health crisis. Hello! Many of these kids have been fed a steady diet of violence since early childhood. What goes in comes back out. It's no mystery here. Go ahead make more gun control laws, heaven knows we need them because half the people now a days are crazy. I wonder why? 

I am proud to say that by God's grace I will continue to shelter not only my kid's minds but mine as well. Yup, for the most part we live in a little bubble and it is very peaceful and pleasant. We homeschool and we WANT to shelter and shepherd our children's hearts and minds. Last I knew that was a parents job. I'm glad that my 14 year old has to ask me what a vampire is anyway. I can't think of any spiritual, emotional or intellectual damage that's been done by her not knowing until now, can you? 

 The Bible says "to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." I wonder if the opposite could be said as well, bring up a child in the way he should NOT go and when he is old, there he will be. As parents we will stand before God one day to give an account for what we have allowed these little hearts and minds to be exposed to. How are we caring for the heritage of the Lord? 

I was reading recently that up until about 60 years ago it was a given that Christian fathers across all church denominations gathered their families around them and read the scriptures- daily! Where are the men of God who care enough to do this? I pray that God will raise them up, by the hundreds, by the thousands! To redeem the time for the days are evil. 

I cannot raise a flag for my family at all. We are still young but if I could give one piece of advice to my fellow mamas and daddies it would be this, don't let your kids go online unsupervised- ever. Even on their phones. I know everyone's doing it but God has called us to be "a peculiar people set apart from the world" and souls are at stake. If you need some motivation look up some statistics on childhood exposure to pornography and violence. It should shock and scare into drastic action any sane parent. And get rid of your TV. Limit media to documentaries and educational programs. I truly do not think you or your kids will ever regret it.

                       "Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds (no mental health crisis here) through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are TRUE, HONEST, JUST, PURE, LOVELY, of GOOD report, VIRTUOUS,  PRAISEWORTHY, think on these things!" Philippians 4:6-8